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Monday evening, rush hour. I’m trying to turn left from a busy two-way street into the narrow private drive of my apartment complex. Cars are stacking up behind me—their drivers can’t continue homeward until I turn. Meanwhile, you two dummies are fully blocking both lanes of the entrance with your cars, chit-chatting through the small talk portion of your drug deal.

Yes, I saw the merchandise you tossed from window to window. And I don’t care. I wouldn’t be any more or less sympathetic toward you if you were buying and selling Mary Kay makeup or Pokémon cards. Your leisurely commerce came at the expense of everyone else’s commute. And I had to pee really, really bad. 

Next time, please exchange your goods and currency INSIDE the parking lot, away from the point of ingress and egress. Or better yet, head to the large, empty parking lot of the vacant commercial property less than a block away. I’ve never seen any security presence over there. 

Normally, I wouldn’t be offering unsolicited business advice, but the same small change to your procedure that would make my life easier would also make your operation more discreet. Your dilly-dallying gave plenty of irritated witnesses time to line up in the vicinity of your illicit activity. Get a clue and get out of my way. Thanks!


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