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Jeff’s Mom Is Dead: Jackie Bezos, 78, died in her Miami home on Thursday after “a long fight with Lewy body dementia,” as Jeff penned in his Instagram goodbye to mommy dearest. Alongside her husband Mike, Jackie wrote one of the two checks to support her son’s startup in 1995. That $245,573 investment spawned billions for the couple and, as we all know, even more for their son. Despite having all the money one could want, death still came for Jackie as it will come for us all. 

My Step-Dad Predicted This: For years, my step-dad Ben has been convinced we will be able to upload our consciousnesses in our lifetimes. Good news, Ben. Tech start-up Nectome wants to preserve people’s brains and back-up their minds so one day the scientists of the future—hundreds of years from now, maybe even thousands of years from now—can upload those minds into computer simulations. Is that resurrection? Are you still the you that were uploaded? Not quite. Making everything even more complicated is the fact that in order to even get this procedure done, you’ll have to fucking die. Newcome founder Robert McIntyre said his “product” is “100 percent fatal.” If you want to kill yourself for the chance of an imprint of you to live forever as a computer simulation, you can sign up for the waitlist—it only costs $10,000. 

I like this take on the whole thing: McGill University neuroscientist Michael Hendricks had this to say about preserving brains for future generations to deal with: 

“Burdening future generations with our brain banks is just comically arrogant. Aren’t we leaving them with enough problems?” Hendricks told [MIT Technology Review] this week after reviewing Nectome’s website. “I hope future people are appalled that in the 21st century, the richest and most comfortable people in history spent their money and resources trying to live forever on the backs of their descendants. I mean, it’s a joke, right? They are cartoon bad guys.”

The Great West Seattle Jewelry Robbery: In broad daylight at around noon on Thursday, four masked thieves busted into Menashe and Sons Jewelers on California Avenue Southwest. They smashed and grabbed, breaking six different cases and snatching Rolexes, an emerald necklace, and gold jewelry. They made off with an estimated $2 million in merchandise. If you have any info on this group, the Seattle Police Department would appreciate the help. 

The World Humanoid Robot Games is This Weekend: The first-of-its-kind event kicks off in Beijing on Friday with “500 humanoid robots in 280 teams from 16 countries, including the U.S., Germany and Japan” competing—and showcasing their prowess in robotics, according to CTV News. The opening ceremony included a robot soccer match and it looked like shit. 

Four teams competed in the inaugural RoBoLeague World Robot Soccer League in Beijing, ahead of the World Humanoid Robot Games in August. The robotic players all operated autonomously, with no humans directly to blame for the terrible defending on show.

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— WIRED (@wired.com) July 1, 2025 at 6:24 AM

The Weather: This storm front of dreary, wet weather reeks of fall. It will deliver us all of August’s typical rainfall amount in just two days. Listen close. Beyond the pitter-pat of rain, you can hear it: Seattleites everywhere muttering, “We needed this. We needed this.” And when you think of the crab grass, the parched soil turning to dust in our parks, and the fires using it all as fuel across the state, you can’t help but think we did need this. The people who did not need this? Everyone who banked on Aug. 16 being a warm, dry Seattle Saturday to get married on. It’s good luck at least! 

The Traffic: A complete closure of I-5 north from the I-90 interchange to Northeast 45th Street will snarl commutes this weekend. Plan accordingly. The good news is that after this weekend, the freeway should fully open—which means goodbye to the two-lanes the stretch has been reduced to for the past month. 

Too Bad the Light Rail Isn’t Dependable: An issue with a “ventilation safety fault” has shut down Northgate, Roosevelt, U District, University of Washington and Capitol Hill stations. Riders will need to take shuttle buses if they are leaving from or heading to any of those stops. 

If I Had a Nickel for Every Time This Happened… A group text called “Mass Text” between Immigrations and Customs Enforcement and other law enforcement agencies accidentally added a random person to the thread. In it, they discussed an active search for a convicted murderer allegedly slated for deportation. Yep, that means they flung around a lot of sensitive information. According to 404 Media, this included “detailed information about the target they were looking for, and… ICE pulling data from a DMV and license plate readers.” And this was just a regular old text thread, not even an end-to-end encrypted chat like the Signal group a senior Trump administration official added the editor-in-chief from The Atlantic to. 

Gerrymandering, But for the Good Guys: California Gov. Gavin Newsom and all of that hair of his announced the Golden State is moving forward with a redistricting plan to counter the Republican-led gerrymandering effort and to secure a House majority. Two can play at this game. “We can’t stand back and watch this democracy disappear district by district all across the country,” Newsom said. While Newsom spoke, armed and masked federal agents gathered, seemingly in a show of intimidation. 

Border Patrol agents assembled outside a Los Angeles museum where Gov. Gavin Newsom was holding a rally and news conference on congressional redistricting. Local elected officials expressed outrage that the agents decided to stand there in a brazen show of force. www.nytimes.com/2025/08/14/u…

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— The New York Times (@nytimes.com) August 14, 2025 at 3:50 PM

More Tech Layoffs: Texas-based cloud computing company Oracle is cutting 161 employees in Seattle.

JD Vance’s Humiliation Tour Continues: JD Vance, who is somehow still on vacation, couldn’t dine at The Bull in Charlbury, Oxfordshire because a staff mutiny made management turn him away.

DC Sues Trump Administration over Occupation: Washington D.C.’s local government has filed a federal suit against the Trump administration and Attorney General Pam Bondi’s “brazen usurpation of the District’s authority over its own government.” According to the suit, Trump’s federalization of D.C. police and Bondi’s installation of an emergency police commissioner “exceed the narrow delegation that Congress granted the President in Section 740,” or the DC Home Rule Act that gives the president a 30-day period to control the local police if he declares an emergency, according to The Guardian. So far, that safety emergency looks like arresting a justice department employee and charging him with a felony for throwing a sandwich at an ICE agent. They sent 20 officers to arrest this guy. They heard he had a pound of turkey, a loaf of white and some dangerously sharp cheddar.

The White House posted an insane video of the police arresting the sandwich guy in a safe and wealthy neighborhood.

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— amanda moore 🐢 (@noturtlesoup17.bsky.social) August 14, 2025 at 9:49 PM

Meanwhile, Trump Meets with Putin: Trump and Russia President Vladimir Putin are meeting face-to-face in Alaska to chat about Russia’s war in Ukraine. It’s the first in-person meeting between American and Russian leaders since the Ukraine invasion happened in 2022. The meeting could determine the future of that conflict and Trump’s commitment to NATO.  

Sports Betting Is Such an Ick: In a time of year where there aren’t a ton of professional sports to wager on, people who need to make a sports wager to feel are turning to betting on the Little League World Series. Yes, children playing baseball. 

A Bullfighting Resurgence? Spanish bullfighting is seeing a complicated renaissance thanks to two popular matadors who fucking hate each other and who have been recently gored by bulls. Plus, the stigma associated with the sport—which is falling out of popularity especially with young and educated Spaniards—is increasing its appeal. Forbidden fruit and all that. Also, maybe society just thirsts for blood now more than it ever has. 

A Song for Your Friday: You deserve a ballad today.

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